by Deepak Chopra
Our life has various hues and shades at different
times. There are phases as colourful and
vibrant as a vibgyor. Sometimes we are coping up
with just black and white. And there are occasions
when we are wallowing in shades of grey, in
the hope that every cloud has a silver lining.
However, the life span can be broadly categorized
into three phases.
The first twenty five years of our life are the
formative years. This period is constructive in
nature, may it be in the form of relationships,
acquiring new skills , knowledge and academic
qualifications and generation of new business
ideas. Each one of us is carving and forging new
relationships. This can be in the shape of friendships
right from kindergarten to adolescence to
teenage and finally to adulthood, where it may
culminate into life partners as well as business
partners. This further leads to progeny and hence
widening of the net of human relations. This is
the most enjoyable and memorable period where
we are oblivious of the struggles and challenges
of life, courtesy our parents.
The next phase of twenty five years of our life
are combative years. This period is normally the
most turbulent and it is here that we experience
the roller coaster ride as we are exposed to
vagaries of life. Businesses and job demand maximum
attention and dedication. The pressure to
excel, or even to remain afloat, is tremendous.
The spouse and children, too, are vying for their
share of quality interaction. Here the balancing
act requires skill and diplomacy (also synonymously
termed as hypocrisy in lighter vein),
since going overboard towards anything or anyone
can be catastrophic personally. This period
is the breeding ground for all major biological
ailments, psychological disorders and disruption
of personal as well as business relationships. It is
in this period that some of us are unfortunate to
encounter what is commonly addressed as mid
life blues or mid-life crisis. Those who are
equipped with equanimity, wisdom to make right
choices at the right time and most of all, faith in
the Divine are able to satisfactorily sail through
this period. And it is during this phase that we
realize our dreams, see the business ideas fructify
and excel professionally. It is this period that
transforms a boy into a real man and a young
lady into a woman of substance.
The third phase of our life i.e. broadly the third
set of twenty five years are reformative years.
After tiding over the turbulent middle phase, we
emerge wiser, with a modified approach to life.
We learn to tame the false, inflated egos which
have been instrumental in burning of the bridges
with our near and dear ones during the middle
phase. We see life with a different perspective,
with a more tolerant attitude. We tend to become
more religious and spiritual as we approach our
sunset years. We embark on a relationship revival
mission and burying the hatchet by forgiving and
forgetting. Majority of us take refuge in the sects
of self styled Godmen in the hope of getting some
solace and being shown the path of enlightened
living, and that too at the fag end of our life when
turning the clock back is impossible and redundant
But why? Is it the fear of death that transforms
us? Is the fear of being answerable to the Divine
for our deeds that reforms us? Is it the pain of
severing ties with our loved ones? Is it the selfishness
of acquiring the status of a God figure
before departing from this planet and heading on
their eternal journey of evolution? Is it to ensure
that you are remembered fondly by everyone
rather than being condemned as a bad soul by
the future generations?
I have no answers to these questions. Sorry for
disappointing you all.
But what I do understand is that the reasons for
combative phase can be counted on finger tips of
the right hand. They are greed, lust, high expectations,
impatience and lack of acceptance of
Our efforts should be to erase the word combative
and replace it with formative or reformative,
and to further blur the lines between formative
and reformative, to lead a more peaceful, progressive
and meaningful life.
.Chandigarh based Deepak Chopra is Author
of the books: The Secrets of Success and
Mantras for Inner Peace
A must-read book : Guruji – 21 Shades of
Divinity: A narrative of the author’s experiences
in his solitude during the lockdown
– of his encounters with different
shades of Divinity emerging from his
experiences, observations and emotions
in his solitude.
It encapsulates the purity of his devotion.
It will inspire all to come back to it –
to rekindle the flame of love and passion
for life, to go a notch deeper into spirituality
– with Guruji.
by Deepak Chopra